Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Morning Blessing

The day has barely begun. 
The sun hasn’t even had time to warm the skies.
 I hear the rustling of the comforter & then feel a small hand lay across my neck.  She wants snuggle time & to feel comfort for just a little while before her brothers wake up & take the attention solely away from her.

It is our time. 

It is peaceful & reflective.
And my heart begins to miss her already.

She is there.  I can feel her breath on my face.  I feel her tiny hand in mine.  But my heart becomes sad & I begin to miss these times.

They will come and they will go.

There will be friends that will take her time away from mine.  Things that will fill her life with importance other than having quiet time with me.  There will be school & homework & dance lessons.  Play dates & boyfriends.

Her hands won’t be so tiny some day.  They will not fit so gently into mine.  I will not get the blessing of cuddling with her & feeling her soft breathe on my cheeks. 

We are late getting going, as usual.  But for today, it doesn’t matter.  We are where we need to be.  Enjoying love & comfort.  I don’t want to be anywhere else & neither does she. 

I will not rush through this time.  I will cherish every second that I have with her in this moment. 

She isn’t even aware of my sadness.  Of my missing her already.  She is there to enjoy the moment & feel what her heart came for.  Pure, unconditional love.  And that’s exactly what I will give her.

Monday, October 11, 2010


To stretch is to ‘draw out to the full breadth’….’to exert to the utmost’.

There are times in my life that I really feel like I am stretched beyond my own capacity.  That the things asked of me are…

Too much.
Too difficult. 
Too demanding.

Over the past couple of years, there have been times where I have gone beyond my own comfort.  I knew in my heart that it would be easier to walk away than to confront issues, people, my past.  But if I didn’t dig my feet in, then I wouldn’t GROW.

So I stayed.

Feet planted.

It took awhile.  I shuffled my feet around.  Made some designs in the dirt.  Procrastinated because I didn’t really want to do it.  But in the end, my feet were rooted.  I couldn’t go anywhere. 

I have bared some things.  I have walked uncomfortable paths.  I’ve gotten muddy.

But in the stretching, also came refining. 

If I walked the path only as far as the first bump or pothole or in some cases loss of friendship or pride then I would never complete the real journey & would only be denying myself.

Stretching stinks.
It hurts & it’s uncomfortable. 
Painful at times. 
Life & circumstances tug & pull.

It is WAY easier to throw your hands up & walk away sometimes because you just don’t want to deal with a conversation or issue.  A difficult person or circumstance.

I realize that when I need to plant my feet….when I need to root my feet down & grow…as painful as it sometimes can be, that the Only thing I need to be sure to do is root them in the promises of God.  

He will stretch me.  He will tug.  He will pull.  He loves me.  He needs me to grow. 

What good is a flower if it is not given the opportunity to push it’s way through, to withstand some darkness, to be pulled up from the dirt because it can’t live without the light.  His light.  It’s not always an easy journey but when it blooms, in it’s season, it is the most magnificent gift.

I am stretched right now.  In my parenting.  In my marriage.  In my leadership role.  In my finances.  I am pulled to the point of exhaustion.  And I am….not….comfortable.  But I am planting my feet.  I will conquer it all by grace….and I will grow.