Wednesday, January 26, 2011

This Is A Tough Job

I don’t like running late to anything. 
Which seems funny considering since the very day I had our first daughter, I really haven’t been on time to anything else. 
As much as I would love to say that I’ve enjoyed every moment of the past almost-5-year period of babies & diapers & bottle feeding & rocking my sweet babies to sleep, I’m not sure I can satisfy the common reader with an absolute confirmation of sweet gratitude that you may be hoping for.

There was a time when I really did wish things away.  The colic.  The shrieking that lasted 7 hours straight.  The complete exhaustion.  The loss of independence.  I wanted my perfectly organized little life back.  QUICKLY.

I’m sure many people that would read these words would judge & ask why I even had children if that’s where my mind wandered a time or two (thousand).  The wishing of the evaporation of time.  The hope of getting to something MORE.  Cuz there has to be something more, right?

I am not one that typically sugar coats things & I am definitely the person to come to if you want an opinion.  Chances are….I will have one.

I adore….like, over-the-moon LOVE my kids.  But not every day has been a good one.  Or one that I would even want to repeat.  There have been so many times that I have repented for things I have said.  Thoughts I have had.  I have said so many prayers that I have lost track.  (which is really how it should be when you’re a mom!!)  Pray, Pray, Pray until we can’t pray anymore because the only way we can really make this life work is to go to God who gave it to us in the first place.

I just want to keep things real.  I want moms to understand that not every day will be a good one.  We will have moments where we feel like we are complete failures.  Moments when we won’t like our kids.  Where we wish for just a weekend completely alone to do whatever we want without them pulling on every limb.  Enjoying complete silence.  Or watching 20 straight episodes of Grey’s Anatomy in a row & eating nothing but junk food. 

If we can’t stand WITH each other in support through this journey then we will break much quicker in the battle that we really ARE all in together.

I want nothing more than the best for my children.  I am the mom that brings flashcards to restaurants because I want them to be their best.  I walk a fine line of balance.  How many activities to place them in.  What to sign them up for.  Which school to attend.  Or will I actually be THAT mom that I swore I would never be….the home-schooling one?!  The jury is still out on this one but I really do want them to be in their happiest place while they walk through this crazy world.  If it’s a public school, charter school or sitting at our table at home, I want them to be fulfilled.

All I am saying is that we juggle so many things as moms.  We carpool to soccer games & to school.  We volunteer in their classrooms.  We cheer on the sidelines.  We make sure they have a protein with every meal.  We hold them, cry with them, read & pray with them, teach them, shuffle them from one place to the next and still look beautiful in the process.

So let’s take it easy on ourselves & each other!  Share the grace that we have all been given by God.  Show mercy to that mom that just needs a kind & encouraging word.  Share a burden.  Lessen the load for a mom that needs a break by taking her kids to the next birthday party.  NOTICE that she is doing a fantastic job & TELL HER!!

We are all tired.
We get to the end of the day wondering ‘what just happened?’.
We finally manage to place our heads on a pillow & let out a big sigh & hope for peaceful rest to prepare us for the next day.
We may not always do it pretty.  We WILL make mistakes.  We will say things too harshly.  Spank our child with a firmer hand than we should have.  We will raise our voice.  We will apologize.  We will seek forgiveness.

We are not alone in this girls!

It is THE TOUGHEST job we will EVER do!!  No doubt about it.

There will be no raise or pat on the back.  There will be no plaque on the wall of recognition.  No words of appreciation.  In this life, we need to hold on to the knowing that we are doing this for something so much bigger!  And at the end of it, if the ONLY words we hear are ‘Well done, My good & faithful servant’ then we KNOW we have done our job well!!

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