Friday, April 16, 2010

She floats

She floats on the water.
Arms outstretched.
Pink swim cap snug against her long blonde hair.
Goggles pressed tightly against her blue eyes.

She is comfortable.
She is safe.
She is protected by the teacher’s hands that hold her.
She knows they will not let her go.

So she floats.

She enjoys her freedom.
Her soul rests in ease.
It is soothed by the faith that she is protected.
It rests on the promise that she will not be deserted or forsaken.

And as our Father does with us, so does her teacher.
She knows what her potential is & she lets go. 
Releases her into freedom to go her own way. 
She will not abandon her.  He will not abandon us.
She will not put her in danger.  He assures us that we should not fear.
She is still there with her.  He NEVER leaves us.
Her job is to teach.  He walked this earth to do the same.
Her job is to lead her in what she already knows.  What she has already learned.  He too, has felt every pain, every disappointment, every lesson, every loss, that we have felt.
She knows when to let go.  He knows when He needs to hold on.

So she let’s go.
And the moment that my daughter realizes that she is not being held on to, fear sets in.  Confidence is shaken.  Legs tuck in.  And she goes under water.

She showed me that day that I do the same thing.

In confidence.  I float.

Bank account in excess.  I float.
Roof over our heads.  I float.
Healthy kids.   I float.
Good marriage.  I float.
No impending debt.  I float.
Food to eat.  I float.

And then….I feel His hands lift.  Not because He isn’t still there.  Not because He has left me.   But His hands move from being supportive to allowing me more freedom.  Freedom to make my own choices.  Away from Him.  To go my own way.  If I choose. 

And when that happens…
When I choose on my own….
When I try by myself…
When I think MY will is better than His….
I tend to become scared.  I lose confidence.  Strength is devoured.
I tuck my legs under.   Panic takes over.  And I start to go under.

And as her teacher did, so does Mine.
He grabs a hold of me.
He pulls me back up.
He provides the safety that I need. 
He saves me, once again.

And then, I dry myself off & get ready for the next lesson.

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